I’ve come to believe, like Henri Nouwen once said, that “being God’s beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” And because we tend to see others as we see ourselves, true belonging can only happen when we all see ourselves as God’s beloved. Only then will each of us be able to see and treat others that way, too.
Of course, saying that is one thing, but living it — being the beloved? — well, that can be a challenge, to say the least. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing the many voices that speak against our mutually shared belovedness.
A few years ago, I found myself spending a lot of time with a group of friends from various walks of life struggling with their church experiences. Many were wrestling with the tension between their understanding of a Jesus who embraced them — all of who they are, including their imperfections — and their painful experiences of a church that did not. And because of the alienating messages picked up from church folks who said they didn’t belong and had a lot of measuring up to do before God would ever love and accept them, I decided to write a letter to affirm and encourage them, hoping they would press on.
Here’s a little of that letter. Maybe it will encourage you.
Dear fellow travelers struggling along the way to live loved,
To my friends who have been bashed and burned, belittled and beaten down by those who misrepresent and misuse the name of Jesus, who continue to be haunted by a picture of God that has you looking over your shoulder, swirling in the shame of that nagging feeling that you don’t measure up; to all who can’t seem to get rid of the sour taste in your soul caused by digesting rotten rumors that God is disappointed in you; to you who live with heads down and eyes empty because you are convinced that you are not loved and cannot be loved, let’s get out of that story and step into a true story of belonging and belovedness. A story in which everyone knows that no one is separated from the love of God in Christ Jesus, and no one treats anyone else like they are not included in the Great Affection God has for all of us.
God is not against you. God is for you.
God is not pointing the finger at you but waves to you with arms wide open, saying, “Come on in, the water’s fine.”
God is not your accuser. God is your advocate.
God is not holding out on you but freely and generously giving all of who God is to you.
God is not damning you but defending you.
Your shortcomings don’t cause you to come up short.
Your problems are not a problem for God but your pathway to God.
God will not let anything or anyone drive a wedge between you and a love that is deeper than you can dream and wider than you can imagine.
So let’s join together and live loved.
Let’s walk worthy.
Be embraced by grace.
Your foibles, flaws, frailty, and failings accepted.
Your sins, stains, problems, and pains requested.
Your deficiencies, defects, deformities, and diseases wanted.
The addictions that are killing you, the toxic attachments that diminish you, the disorders that drive you crazy and make you feel less than human, bring those, too.
Jesus welcomes you, all of you. We welcome you, all of you. You belong here.
No perfection required. None.
Let’s choose to be no longer held captive by guilt and shame or deceived by a wacky perversion of the gospel that demands perfection as a pre-requisite to God’s welcome and love.
Let’s deconstruct old ideas of who god is not and re-construct images more faithful to who God is.
And let’s choose to treat others the way God treats us. Welcome others as Christ welcomes us. We don’t blame. We don’t shame. We don’t exclude. Let’s create a big, generous space to welcome not just some but everyone with the same crazy love that has welcomed us.
That’s a story I’m stepping into.
Will you join me?
Much love,
Pastor Gregg
